–Mike

‘“crazy outbursts and mood swings”
Crazy?? Just because one does not understand where a woman is coming from, it does not necessarily follow that her reactions are crazy.’

Carla being this “angry” over a simple statement shows that she can get extremely emotional and when you come across extremely emotional then regular people look at you like you’re, well… “crazy!”

‘“the masculine acts upon the world, the feminine exists in it”
Really? We only exist???’

This is clearly a woman who has a problem with “being a woman” (the reason for this blog) or playing the role of a feminine woman. This drives real men away. PERIOD

‘“Such a devoted woman has the courage to trust her man’s steady vision to penetrate the fog of her rampant emotions”
In the first paragraph our emotions are “a vital ingredient of [our] expressive beauty,” but now they are a fog of rampant emotions? And how many men do you know with a truly “steady” vision?’

I think what the writer was saying is that a woman’s emotions are a part of her. Don’t be afraid to express them. Just know HOW to express them. Carla’s initial comment “this is bullshit” shows she doesn’t know how to express herself or her emotions thoroughly. Even the way she commented to the post shows that she is “reactive” instead of “proactive.” In relationships, women who are proactive with their emotions tend to be less “emotional” while still expressing their emotions. This is key.

“Actually, I take issue with all of point #3. Why should a woman follow a man just because he “intends” one thing even if he does another? If he can make mistakes (as we all do), then perhaps she needn’t follow him at all, but follow her own inner guide which, if he is right for her, should not be contradictory to his anyway. But she should never just follow a man without considering her own spirit first. And as far as asking how to serve him… I could go on for days!”

Honey… we don’t make the rules, but trust me, if you want a man, then you have to make sacrifices, just make sure those sacrifices don’t compromise your integrity. Also, do a better job a judging a man. If you don’t think you can “follow him” then he’s probably not the man for you. Find a man that is “worthy” of you following him or be single. Either way you have to do what makes you happy.

“While I get the point of #4, it still sounds condescending” – Clearly this woman is quite bitter.

#5 – A woman needn’t be “grateful” just because a man chooses to see her as a sex object. If a man were respectful he would never need to feel any way if a woman declines his advances. She has her own mind, free will and choices. She can choose to turn away from anyone she wishes. If a man feels a way about it, then it is his own issue and insecurity.

– She has misinterpreted his entire statement. It takes a lot for a respectable man to approach you. If a “respectable” man goes out of his way to compliment and show interest in you, you don’t have to accept his advances, but it’s crass and un-ladylike to be plain out rude. Again, this post is about “being a woman” it’s clear that this person has no idea of what it takes to be a woman.

All and all, this post may be a little “straight forward” but if you read between the lines and analyze the words from a “womanly” prospective, the post shows you how to be, well… a woman. There are different forms of women, feminist, liberated, docile, submissive, etc. You can choose to be either kind you want, but you have to be willing to live with the consequences. I used to be a carbon copy of “Carla” but I wasn’t happy. It was like I was fighting the natural order of the universe. To me, this post was more empowering than demeaning because of the fact that it is a challenge to me. It’s a challenge for a woman to be strong enough to play the role of “woman” while at the same time respecting herself, her emotions and her sexuality. I just want to thank you, Mike, for writing such a profound / straight to the point entry.

Judging by the tone of all three of your posts, it is apparent that you are not interested in learning anything, making friends, discussing things in a friendly manner, or even helping me understand women. You just want to tear up my shit. This makes me sad. Prove me wrong?

I find it disappointing that you choose to call me emotional simply because I express a difference of opinion. How was my post any more emotionally charged than yours? Nonetheless, I dont’ have a problem expressing my emotions. So be it. But when you minimize my opinion simply because I’m a woman and women are emotional beings, it just shows me that YOU are the one lacking logic.

Furthermore, while I did call your article “bullshit” which, admittedly, may have been too harsh, where did I project that you are a “sexist idiot”? Hmmm… Me thinks thou doth protest too much!

You asked me to elaborate on my original post. I did. That was all. I have no opinions about you as a person as I don’t know you. I simply disagree with your view on How To Be a Woman. And since (I’m assuming here) you’ve NEVER been one (a woman, that is), and based on other posts on this site I’ve read you seem to have at least some trouble in understanding women, I was giving you a woman’s perspective of your idea on what a woman should be. If you had stated that those were the qualities YOU desire in a woman, I wouldn’t consider that bullshit. I’d consider that your opinion, which you’re entitled to. And I’d wish that you receive that sort of woman. After all, there’s somebody for everybody, right? But to suggest, definitively, how a woman should be, is just bullshit!

Have you asked women (a variety of different women) about themselves or their gender, what makes them tick, WHY they do things you don’t understand? I doubt it, because there is nothing in your writing that is truly understanding of the Feminine, only your limited and biased interpretation of it. A man can never tell a woman how to be…we already KNOW. And as I said before, each person has to determine who they are and how they will interact with the world. Nuff said!

Peace.

Thanks for clarifying everything. I definitely learned a thing or two from your criticisms, and became aware of some of the ways I expressed myself unclearly.

““crazy outbursts and mood swings”
Crazy?? Just because one does not understand where a woman is coming from, it does not necessarily follow that her reactions are crazy.”

Of course her reactions aren’t ‘crazy’—they obviously make sense to HER. That her emotions are ‘wrong’ wasn’t the point anyway, I was referring to the quality of wildness.

“the masculine acts upon the world, the feminine exists in it”
Really? We only exist???”

I am referring to ENERGIES. Masculine and Feminine, Yin and Yang. Yang is active, Yin is receptive. Perhaps my real error here was lack of capitalization.

“In the first paragraph our emotions are “a vital ingredient of [our] expressive beauty,” but now they are a fog of rampant emotions?”

Your emotionality is a beautiful thing to witness. The Feminine is expressive by nature. But emotions are the cause and the effect of misinterpretation of reality. For instance, I’m feeling a bit upset because you’ve given my writing a lot of disapproval, and when I filter reality through that upsetness, I want to take my revenge by pointing out where you’re wrong etc etc. But when I stop and think about it, I become aware that you have no hostility toward me as a person—how could you? I’m words on the internet. You’re having fun, projecting your idea of ’sexist idiot’ onto my words and feeling the rush of self righteousness while tearing them apart. Who am I to rain on your parade? Kock yourself out, sister!

“And how many men do you know with a truly “steady” vision?”

Very fuckin few, but we’re gettin’ there.

“follow her own inner guide which, if he is right for her, should not be contradictory to his anyway. But she should never just follow a man without considering her own spirit first.”

I completely agree. Excuse me for being unclear.

“And as far as asking how to serve him… I could go on for days!”
Me too, it’s great. Can you imagine how much TRUST there must be for her to devote herself to him like that? It’s an act of pure love, worthy only of men whose love is just as pure.

“While I get the point of #4, it still sounds condescending.”

I can see that. Next time I’ll be more aware. Do you forgive me?

“#5 – If a man were respectful he would never need to feel any way if a woman declines his advances. She has her own mind, free will and choices. She can choose to turn away from anyone she wishes. If a man feels a way about it, then it is his own issue and insecurity.”

I agree. The issue arises when women are disrespectful. A lot of women these days seem to secretly enjoy rejecting men, which is essentially the same as bullying. With great power comes great responsibility—if you have power over men, ESPECIALLY if you put on makeup and wear ostentatious clothes specifically to maximize your power over men, you have a responsibility to be at the very least as respectful as is the man who approaches you.

“#6 – “properly lead and lovingly dominate her”
This assumes that women are lesser than men and need to be controlled…albeit lovingly (whatever!).”

I vaguely remember about eight billion romance novels about women getting ’swept off their feet’. Women don’t ‘need’ to be ‘controlled’. the feminine energy, which is submissive by nature, is at the core of most women, so most women would rather be led than lead.

“My guess is it’s a man, and men need to stop telling women how to be.”
So, you’re a woman… telling men how to be? :p

Thank you for taking the time,
–Mike

“crazy outbursts and mood swings”
Crazy?? Just because one does not understand where a woman is coming from, it does not necessarily follow that her reactions are crazy.

“the masculine acts upon the world, the feminine exists in it”
Really? We only exist???

“Such a devoted woman has the courage to trust her man’s steady vision to penetrate the fog of her rampant emotions”
In the first paragraph our emotions are “a vital ingredient of [our] expressive beauty,” but now they are a fog of rampant emotions? And how many men do you know with a truly “steady” vision?

Actually, I take issue with all of point #3. Why should a woman follow a man just because he “intends” one thing even if he does another? If he can make mistakes (as we all do), then perhaps she needn’t follow him at all, but follow her own inner guide which, if he is right for her, should not be contradictory to his anyway. But she should never just follow a man without considering her own spirit first. And as far as asking how to serve him… I could go on for days!

While I get the point of #4, it still sounds condescending.

#5 – A woman needn’t be “grateful” just because a man chooses to see her as a sex object. If a man were respectful he would never need to feel any way if a woman declines his advances. She has her own mind, free will and choices. She can choose to turn away from anyone she wishes. If a man feels a way about it, then it is his own issue and insecurity.

#6 – “properly lead and lovingly dominate her”
This assumes that women are lesser than men and need to be controlled…albeit lovingly (whatever!).

#7, #8 and #9 I have no problems with.

I guess overall, I wonder who the author of this piece is. My guess is it’s a man, and men need to stop telling women how to be. Each person has to determine who they are and how they will interact with the world.

So again: Overall, I think it’s bullshit.