My heart is very, very open right now. I just did some meditating, opened my eyes, and I could feel my heartbeat in my entire body. Even my tongue. The objects in my room swelled and relaxed not with my breath, but with my heartbeat. I did not experience oneness like I did before, but I did feel as though I was resonating with the world more than usual. Resonating is a good word to describe it, too—imagine being part of a taut string, and when something happens in the world (on another part of the string) it vibrates, and you feel it too. That’s what it was like, only my “resonance reach” made it only out to the kitchen. The sound of a cabinet door shutting seemed almost profound. This is nowhere near as cool as it sounds, I imagine I barely got off the ground as far as the reaches of meditation are concerned, but I did feel it. I felt the most when I focused on quieting my mind and “listening with my body,” so to speak.
I felt my aura and it was pretty big, and strong.
I went downstairs and talked to my mom a little. She commented on my posture. I started to show her stuff like feeling her aura and she brought up Eastern philosophy, and I felt like talking about all this with her was wrong, like giving a kindergartner sex advice. So I’m back, and I feel pretty good. Grounded. Not happy, not sad, just kinda sitting here, existing.